It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
