I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
