I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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