his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
