Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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