This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
