Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
