Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
