That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
