meet me or not, i'm out of control
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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