that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sext me about skeletons
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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