i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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