I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
