Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
