You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
