Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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