Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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