Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
