Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
