My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
