Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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