Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
