btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
