hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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