your room smells of hookers.
And success
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Life is so much better after having sex.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
