He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
