singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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