everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
