All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
