So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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