so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
