We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
