don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
