I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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