My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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