he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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