The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
