I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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