I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
