why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
