Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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