Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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