i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
