We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
