Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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