I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
