no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
