Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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