Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
