Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
