tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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