you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
