there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
