Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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